Grasping no meaning

An individual so illuminated,
Standing bright before the others.
One step at a time; one day at a time.
A stunted growth, a light shining
In the night.
Yet no propers paid.
Dues paid, yet no propers paid.
Tears and sweat, doing three days straight,
Can't go to sleep.
My mind like an egg in the skillet.
Yet it grasps no meaning.
For fulfillment, just have to get my propers.
Damn, I paid my dues.
A grasp; no meaning.
I paid my dues; where's my propers?