T.M.I. Jeremy Craven

By Melissa Byron, The Hartford Advocate, 14 October 2004

Publisher's note: The Hartford Advocate regularly interviews middle-class white youth in Hartford who reflect its readership. There are always the same mindless questions, but occasionally the answers are revealing.

A: How did your last relationship end?

J: I thought she was cheating on me. I had heard stories from a lot of people. And I got really drunk one night, went to see her and told her I knew she was cheating on me and that I wanted to break up with her. She told me she wasn't cheating on me. I realized I should break up with her because I obviously had an issue with trusting her and that was something I had to deal with.

A: Who is the sexiest historical figure?

J: I'll break it into two categories. For female it would be Cleopatra. Anyone who puts that much effort into their appearance would probably put effort into a relationship. And the sexiest male figure whose sexual prowess I idolize is JFK, because he was the leader of the free world and still had time to smash out models and he did it all with a smile.

A: If you could be a rock star who would you want to be and why?

J: Tom Jones. He's smooth and slick and comes off as being somewhat approachable.

A: What's your greatest accomplishment?

J: Hmmm—I don't think I have one, except I really surprised myself by the fact that I was able to fall in love once. I really didn't think that could happen.

A: What's one thing you most dislike about yourself?

J: My inability to commit to a relationship is probably the one thing I dislike about myself.

A: If you had the choice to lose either your hearing our your sight, which would it be and why?

J: My hearing, 'cause I don't really listen anyway.

A: Robbing the cradle or robbing the grave?

J: Robbing the grave.

A: What's your greatest fear?

J: To be married with two daughters and a minivan.

A: Sex with an ex, good or bad?

J: It would depend on the ex, some were bad in bed.

A: The gym or yoga?

J: The gym, preferably one with a punching bag.

A: Red Sox or Yankees?

J: Red Sox, all night long.

A: What's the one thing that defined your entire life?

J: Going to reform school, because a situation like that narrows down your options and your path in life to two things: maintaining your autonomy and taking on the oppressive weight of a pre-existing structure trying to force conformity on you, or to take the easy way out and follow the direction that's given to you by people who have no real intuition on what makes you work. It makes you realize that your path in life is truly only yours to walk.

A: How do you think you will die?

J: By the hand of my enemy, whoever it will be in that point of my life.

age: 22
occupation: bartender
found at: Braza